Monday, October 19, 2009

Recession Will Soon Be Over, Says White House

Okemo Mountain Resort Announces Third Consecutive Year of Record Season Pass Sales

"We're Just Going to Start Doing Whatever Okemo's Doing," Says Fed

LUDLOW, VT—Noting the third consecutive year of season pass sales success at Vermont's Okemo Mountain Resort, President Barack Obama on Monday formally announced the beginning of the end of the twenty-two month Great Recession.

"I am, and always have been, most impressed by the commitment to excellence shown by the fine upstanding Vermont-Americans at Okemo Mountain, and I am most impressed that, in these soon-to-be-formerly difficult times, Okemo has shown season pass sales unit increases of 14%, year-to-year... and that on top of two previous consecutive years of growth.

"Let me be clear: whatever they're doing, we're going to start doing," Obama said.

Rep. John R. Boehner (R-OH), House Minority Leader, immediately endorsed Obama's position.

"The President and I agree on very little, but this is a clear area for consensus: offer American consumers an excellent product at an excellent price, and Americans will start spending again -- and enjoying their newfound independence from lift-ticket prices and ticket window lines," said Boehner. "We can learn a lot from Okemo, even if it is located in Vermont."

Rumors that radio personality Rush Limbaugh was part of a group seeking to purchase Okemo Mountain Resort could not be confirmed by press time.